Cassandra the Hot Sauce Mule

I love getting packages. I received all of these packages in the past week and just looking at them all makes me very, very happy. Unfortunately, even though they all have my name and address neatly printed on them, none actually contain anything "for me". Well I suppose they are "for me" in the sense that they are "for me" to bring to my friend Jorge and his wife in Genvea. Apparently it costs something ridiculous to ship anything of any size over to Europe these days, and so when Jorge wanted to buy an American backpack, he decided it would be in his best interest to get one of his friends to bring it back from the states for him. That friend, (after friend #1 said no) turned out to be me. Probably immediately after Jorge purchased this item, he realized: "Hey, if Cass is going to bring me over a backpack, it might as well be a FULL backpack." And so started his requests for relatives and neighbors to send me various things to pack for him, and I ended up with the pile of packages you see here.


As you can probably tell, the boxes weren't going to fit in the backpack the way they were, so I had to open them. (Also, I decided that it would probably be a good idea to know what exactly I was carrying between foreign countries.) Not surprisingly, aside from a few personal items, the packages contained largely foodstuffs the couple had a hard time getting in Europe. I suppose I shouldn't judge because I've never been away from the U.S. for any length of time before, so I have no idea what I would crave over there (and we all know how cranky I can be about any bagel that isn't up to par), but is this not the most American list of foods you've ever seen??

• Cheetos
• beef jerky
• shrimp flavored Ramen noodles
• hot sauce (Did you know they sold it in 32 oz bottles?)

Here is an abbreviated version of the email I sent Jorge:


Dear Jorge,
Do you guys really need 7 bottles of hot sauce? I'm not sure the 25 packages of ramen noodles will be enough to cushion them.
Let me know,
Cassandra
P.S. Also, please tell me if the throng of truckers you're hosting will interfere with my plan to sleep on your floor. Thanks!


His Response:


Cass,
There must have been a miscommunication with our suppliers. You can keep the 32oz bottle of hot sauce (that's too much for us!) just bring the other 6 bottles.
Thanks again,
Jorge



And if you think I'm kidding about the Ramen... have another look.



You might notice my newly inherited 32oz bottle of hot sauce buried in there. What can you do with 32 oz of hot sauce? Make chili for 320 people? Hot sauce eating contest? Please people, let me know!